• Needs more staph: A look inside of the bowels of the new Yankee Stadium, including the giant bathroom where Yankees will empty their ... nevermind. [Diamond Hoggers]

• That's gotta hurt: A-Rod went on a "cozy" date with Kate Hudson, but was that before or after she flew to Hawaii to hook up with a freakin' golfer? Eh, whatever—she's got no muscle tone. [Big Picture + Sports Crackle Pop]

• Love and marriage: The Dallas Morning News and Fort-Worth Star-Telegram will share custody of the Mavericks, Stars, and Rangers in order to save money. These kinds of things are always hardest on the forwards. [Dallas Basketball]

• Nil-Nil: This soccer match wasn't delayed by snow. It was delayed by snow balls, being thrown at the goalie. Yet, somehow they still couldn't put anything in the net. [Beautiful Game]

• Get ready for the first inaugural speech to mention Shawn Kemp: Barack Obama once used a George Karl analogy to make a point on the floor of the Illinois State Senate. The point? George Karl stinks. [Juiced Sports Blog]

Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.