Blogs, news, and other nonsense that we didn't have time for/didn't feel like writing about the last couple days

• Some ridiculous college hoops dunks, because why not? [Examiner]

• Cole Hamels gets a three-year deal and "two comely lasses of virtue true." [NY Post]

• Bring back Barry Bonds. Do you know much it costs to get that many hats resized? [Big League Stew]

• What baseball stadiums look like in the winter—minus the hot roasted nuts, obviously. [Home Run Derby]

• NBA trade in the works—Jermaine O'Neal for Shawn Marion. Try to contain yourself. [MyHogTown]

• Andruw Jones is no longer a Dodger. His gut may still be taking up a roster spot, though. [LA Times]

• Chicago trades Felix Pie to the Orioles. EVERYTHING IS FIXED! [MLB.com]

• At least Cubs fans can take solace in the knowledge that the curse will not follow them to the grave. Oh, wait ... yes, it will. [YouTube]

• Six degrees of how your team beat Florida for the National Championship. [College Football Transitive Property]

• Utah football throws a victory parade. I'm not going to tell them, are you? [Deseret News]

Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.