The lamest party in South Carolina history continues to claim victims, months after the last ping pong ball has stopped bouncing. Eight people not named Michael Phelps have now been arrested because of it.
Richland County Sheriff Leon Lott (really?) is determined to stomp out crime in his towns, one apathetic slacker at a time. After saying he wanted to arrest Phelps for "toking" a "doobie" in his jurisdiction, Sheriff Lott has been criticized as a mixed-up attention whore for unfairly singling out Phelps due to his fame. So in order to prove everyone wrong, he's started rounding up stupid college kids and teaching them a lesson or something.
"We've now learned that since investigators began trying to build a case, they've made eight arrests: seven for drug possession and one for distribution. These are arrests that resulted as the sheriff's department served search warrants.
We've also learned that the department has located and confiscated that bong. Sources say the owner of the bong was trying to sell it on eBay for as much as $100,000. The owner, who wasn't even at the party, is one of the eight now charged."
It's about time! How dare these thugs lure an innocent Olympic champion to their home with the promise of a friendly game of ping pong, ply him with illicit herbs and then fleece him for upwards of $2,000. Someone needs to throw the book at these scumbags. Thank you, Sheriff Lott ... you've saved America.
By the way, this is now officially the dumbest story of all time.