• Pinch me: You're not dreaming. It's T.O.'s new Buffalo locker. Or a future exhibit at the Clubhouse Cancer wing of the Smithsonian. [Mouthpiece Sports]

• He was thirsty, okay?: Marion Barber had a good time on his trip to New York, racking up a $14,000 bar tab, plus a $3,000 tip. Couldn't you almost buy your own bar for that? [Sports Crackle Pop]

• Love the one you're with: With Davidson gone, who should you foist your mid-major lust upon? And why won't Canisius return my calls? [Storming the Floor]

• Unpossible: Tyler Hansbrough is not the ACC Player of the Year. He's not even the North Carolina Player of the Year. This Lawson kid must be some kind of god. [ACC Now]

• I didn't really notice: Fox Soccer Report's new anchor seems like she really has her stuff together. I guess she could be considered attractive, too, if you're into adorable blondes with a nice figure. [Unprofessional Foul]

Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.