The Vancouver Canucks Have A Scouting Report On Your Wife

Here's another gem I missed from the first-round of the NHL playoffs. It seems that the Canucks are not only trouncing St. Louis on the ice, but they also lead in trash-talk opposition research.

During the first period of the first game of their opening series, powerful TV microphones caught Canucks Ryan Kesler and Alex Burrows sending their polite regards to Blues winger David Backes ... and his lovely wife, Kelly. ("Tell Kelly I said hi!" yells Kesler. "Hey," adds Burrows, "Kelly is a great girl.") Classy as always, hockey dudes. But the funny part is that Backes says he doesn't even know Kesler or Burrows, has never had a run-in with them in a game before, and doesn't even know how they would know his wife's name. The answer must be Canada's superior smack-talking investigators.

"They just have better researchers than I do," he shrugged. "There was a guy who got suspended for a couple of games [for talking about someone else's significant other], wasn't there?"

We all know what he's talking about there, but that was different. Cuthbert is an (inter)national treasure.

"Hey, my wife is a strong woman. She can take it," Backes said. "She's pretty attractive — I'm pretty proud of what I landed there. I'm over-achieving."

In other words, while you guys are getting your teeth knocked out in the second-round, I'll be busy sexing up my hot, hot wife.

The bark in the Canucks bite [Sportsnet, via Online Sports Guys]

Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.

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