Shutting Down The Internet, At Least For Occasional Five-Minute Intervals

John Danks. I had to feel for the White Sox lefthander, who was "caught" picking his nose during the ESPN Sunday Night game. (Stupid machines capable of capturing human movement for posterity!) I felt bad for him because, well, I'm one of those people who actually scratches and picks at his nose as a matter of fidgeting: I do it without realizing it, and I'm always getting caught. (On the subway the other day, an attractive woman was staring at me intently, which was intriguing until I realized my index finger was halfway to my eyesocket.) It's disgusting, and it's true, and it's happened to you and don't deny it. Thank God no one ever films me at my job. Anyway, I appreciated how Daulerio headlined the picture with different terminologies for nose picking. My dad's a fan of "Hey, Will, pick me out a Cadillac." Seriously, you don't want to see the bottom of my desk at home.