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    Chad Ochocinco Doesn't Want You Catching Any Venereal Diseases

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    Watch This, Then Go Check Your Water Supply For Drugs

    read more: #duan, #whimsy, #lancearmstrong, #davezabriskie

    DZ-Nuts For Women, Coming To A Store Near You

    Looking for the perfect, um, Memorial Day present? Upset that you can't share your DZ-Nuts, Dave Zabriskie's product to "protect your junk," with your special ladyfriend? Then Zabriskie (and host Lance Armstrong) may just have the gift for you: DZ-Lips! [LiveStrong]

    *****

    We made it! Nothing new tomorrow, but the site will be back Tuesday. Get your towels ready. Thanks for your continued support of Deasdpin, and Happy Memorial Day, folks.


    Send an email to Ben Cohen, the author of this post, at ben@deadspin.com.