Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to tips@deadspin.com. Subject: Morning crap

Here's tan, wealthy soccer person Cristiano Ronaldo, either getting a massage or having psychic-surgery performed on him poolside in Vegas, possibly to remove any lingering diseases that may have been left behind by some of his recent sexual partners. But either way — you can't do this in private? Look how embarrassed that woman looks. And that masseuse.

More photos at TotalProSports

****

Good morning. It's Thursday. Sculpt something massive.

Send an email to A.J. Daulerio, the author of this post, at .