A Farewell To America's Softball FailuresS

For the last couple weeks, the injury-rate of rec softball competitors has drastically decreased, which is great news for the collective co-pay rate of America's health-insured, but bad for the column. But it deserves a proper send-off in gallery form.

A Farewell To America's Softball FailuresS

This poor woman had her face rearranged after an off-target (or on, depending upon your perspective) relay throw from the outfield plunked her. The sunglasses she was wearing did not provide adequate protection. She did not like softball before. Now she hates it: "I still don't like softball, and will really never play again!"

A Farewell To America's Softball FailuresS

This is what this man gets for trying to do a "fancy slide" to take out the female second baseman: 25 stitches and a "juicy scar."

A Farewell To America's Softball FailuresS

And remember poor Mike, who was pegged in the leg by an errant throw and ended up with this ugly pus bubble on his leg a couple days later. After a week with this jellyfish-looking thing on his ankle, he finally went to the hospital to get it checked out. The bubble's gone but the scar remains.

A Farewell To America's Softball FailuresS

Here's poor Tim, who took an outfield fence to the shnozz that left him with this bloody mess and "exposed cartilage."

A Farewell To America's Softball FailuresS

Ah, the beginning. This is Jarrett Crader, who is some sort of semi-famous person in Columbia, MO because his inclusion into Softball Failures somehow became newsworthy. Still haven't figured out how they made that tennis ball float.

A Farewell To America's Softball FailuresS

Here's another ankle sprain that caused foot-swelling so bad, I mistakenly identified this person as a man in the original post. I feel terrible. But her foot has returned to normal size, which should lessen anymore gender identification problems for her.

A Farewell To America's Softball FailuresS

And then there's this brave soldier, who took a screaming line drive to the forehead that fractured his sinus bone. He was kind enough to not only send us two different angles of his black-eyed face but also the disgusting (but mesmerizing) surgery photo, which would serve as the perfect photo insert for a menu at the Zombie Diner.