The most appalling thing about the Nike Politburo's coverup of the LeBron dunk tape? Kobe Bryant, the league's foremost expert in the painstaking self-cultivation of one's image, gets to look sort of cool by comparison. Sort of.
I'll tell you one thing: You ain't dunking on me in my camp.
To which the campers responded with a loud, sustained, "Ooooh." Look at what you've gone and done, Nike. You've made LeBron look like a glowering corporate pout, and you've allowed Kobe — work-doin', self-mythologizin' Kobe Bryant — to pretend to be some puckish blithe spirit, which he most definitely isn't. Lame. Of course, it should also be noted that Kobe was speaking to what appears to be a gym full of 14-year-olds, who, let's be honest, probably haven't dunked on anything not made by Nerf.
Video: Kobe "You Ain't Dunkin' On Me At My Camp" [You Been Blinded]
Kobe Weighs in on LeBron's Missing Dunk [The Baseline]
Kobe Leads 'Free Jordan Crawford' Charge Against LeBron [FanHouse]