Okay, Perhaps Kellen Winslow Is A SoldierS

We've all mocked Kellen Winslow in the past for grossly overestimating his own bravery. But perhaps it's time to reconsider, given that last year, he had his testicles sliced open.

In an interview with Seth Wickersham for this week's ESPN Magazine, Winslow reveals all the details of the staph infection that caused him to miss games and be suspended by the Browns after being critical of the organization. Given his history of wanton douchiness, you'd be hard pressed to sympathize with Winslow. Until now.

Winslow told ESPN's Seth Wickersham that he had to have fluid drained from his testicles to play in an Oct. 19 game at Washington…

Winslow told Wickersham that he woke up one October morning sore in the groin area, but figured the problem would go away. Winslow said by the next morning "my testicles were enlarged, to the point where it hurt to walk."…

Wickersham said Winslow passed it on to his wife Janelle. She was also hospitalized and the couple worried about it affecting their ability to have children.

Describing Winslow's treatment, Wickersham quoted Winslow as saying, "They had to drain it. They had a scalpel. They cut into it. I had to clean it every day with a Q-Tip, for two and a half weeks. It was the most painful thing I've ever been through."

Pardon me for just a moment…

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Okay, Perhaps Kellen Winslow Is A SoldierS

The Browns have had six players treated for staph infections since 2003. One of those players was high-priced free agent LeCharles Bentley, who nearly had to have his leg amputated after staph infected his surgically repaired knee. Bentley never played a single game with the Browns. And there you have the entire Cleveland franchise in a nutshell. Not only do they suck, but they also manage to nearly kill their players, or infect their testicles to the point where they have to be sliced open. What the fuck is going on with this organization? Do they wipe the shower floor with fresh Monkey feces every morning?

So yes, we feel a brief bit of sympathy for the Soldier Boy. And let's give him proper credit for still sticking it to his old lady, literally and figuratively, despite the coco nuts. Of course, this is Kellen Winslow. So it never takes him too long to steer back into Douchevania.

Wickersham wrote that he contacted several former Browns employees on why no one defended Winslow. Wickersham said those conversations revealed hard feelings over Winslow treating the trainers like he was their only patient, jeopardizing his damaged knee from a 2005 motorcycle accident by playing basketball in the off-season and his lewd locker room remarks.

Suddenly, a Q-Tip to the man's urethra seems fitting.

Winslow Reveals Staph Details [Ohio.com]

HT: KSK reader Kyle D