Colorado's athletic department recently gave Ben Burney a blog, ostensibly to provide a glimpse into the life of a college football player. Which was a fine idea until Burney provided a glimpse into the life of a college football player.
Burney, self-professed "hopeless romantic and connoisseur of carpe diem," is a senior cornerback and a florid writer who is something like Barbara Cartland in a chinstrap. His debut post, "The Sad Goodbye," went up Thursday and was swiftly bowdlerized by Colorado's athletic department, afraid word might get out that amateur collegiate athletes occasionally engage in shockingly casual sex. Joel Warner of Denver's Westword found the original entry. It began:
This is the first in a new series on CUBuffs.com penned by senior CB Benjamin Burney. Burney will give CU fans a one-of-a-kind glimpse inside the program like only he can.
"The Sad Goodbye"
You can feel it in the air, a tinge that tingles your nose and slowly rolls up your eyes. The grey morning sifts through the blinds as the rainy air from the night before pulls you up out of bed. You roll over and sit up giving your legs a rub as a deep sigh of learned anguish and anxious excitement bellows from your lungs. Your head hangs down as you pop your ankles and toes out of their Nike and Jordan dreamland then look over your shoulder at your girl of the night. She seems to mockingly snore in a deep sleep unaware of your dismay, your libido sheds a salty tear aware she can't be back for awhile, and your body begins to ache as it stares at the rising sun on August sixth two thousand and nine. "Where you goin'?" She asks looking at you methodically putting on weathered shorts, holy socks, and a tattered shirt; you don't look up for fear of her seeing the growing water in your eyes, you just answer slowly, trying your hardest not to personify your words, "Dal Ward...I have to go to Dal Ward... It's reporting day..."
The entry now looks like this. You'll note that "Burney's Blog" has become the group-authored "CU Football Blog," to which Burney says he will not be contributing in the future:
Burney said the blog was later edited without consulting him. He said the plan was for him to write the blog all season. He said he has since been told further editions won't be necessary.
"I have been censored. They took parts out of my blog and they took it away from me," Burney said. "It was my idea and it saddens me. They didn't tell me why I got censored, they changed it and it was taken away from me."
Westword points out that the Colorado Politburo also excised Burney's description of a meal ("Two dead pigs oozing with goodness, pretty in pink salmon, and crayon green salad") and its aftereffects ("We always eat too much on the first night and our toilets pay for it"). Gone, too, is his characterization of a series of meetings as "the mundane that sucks the all life out of each one of us, coaches and players alike."
That last edit is maybe even more preposterous than censoring the sexy bits. Any player will tell you that the sport is really one long team meeting broken up by occasional bursts of actual football. Writing about football without describing the tedium is like writing about war without mentioning death. Truth sheds a salty tear.
CU Buffs lets player blog about reality of college football, reconsider after player blogs about reality of college football [Westword]
CU Buffs nix player Ben Burney's blog after risque entry [Colorado Daily]
CU Football Blog: The Sad Goodbye by Ben Burney [CUBuffs.com]