The UFL Might Actually Be A Practical Joke

The United Football League unveiled its team names and uniforms this week, just hours before tickets went on sale for games you did not realize were taking place, featuring players that may not exist. Is this really happening?

It might be. Actually, one of the four teams doesn't have a name yet. Florida's nickname is the Tuskers. Here you see the uniforms of the California Redwoods, which are ironic because despite being named after a tree, their team colors cannot be found in nature. Then the UFL commissioner began the press conference by fumbling a football and stating confidently that his league is "different from other failed leagues." In that it hasn't failed yet?

The six-game season will take place during the NFL regular season, under the theory that any standout UFL players could be snatched up by NFL teams. Of course, losing their best players to the better league would render the UFL even more pointless. Nothing about this league makes any sense and the business model will be a real test of the theory of trickle-down economics. Does the NFL make so much money that some run-off could fall to the owners of this league without the big boys noticing? Sort of like what would happen if Roger Goodell dropped a $1,000,000 bill on the street?

Oh, and the owner of the Redwoods is Nancy Pelosi's husband, so the first 500 season ticket holders will probably get to sit on a "death panel."

Are You Ready For Some Football? The Team Is Named 'The California Redwoods.' Still Ready? [SF Weekly]

Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.

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