Although other overtures were made before, there's never been a better opportunity to touch the sun than this one: an invitation to participate in some of ESPN's 30-year anniversary activities.

And it would be foolish to ignore that invivtation based on the antiquated notion that They, Worldwide Leaders Of The Universe, are our sworn enemy based on past incidents. Nope, bygones be bygoned, I say.

I agreed that their generous invitation would be an "ample learning experience" for all involved, but due to some prior commitments here in NYC, I won't be able to attend the full day-and-a-half of festivities. So I outsourced.

Considering the top-tier writing talent available to us both in-house and through outside correspondents, I decided it was important to spend our limited funding on a person who, in my opinion, could ably tackle the goose-infested playground in Bristol, Connecticut with the vim and vigor required for such an important assignment. Yes, Spinheads, Blazer Girl is here to rescue us once again.

She is in mid-flight right now most likely carrying a gym bag full of mismatched thrift store wares, her iPod and Xanax. Once she lands, she'll be whisked off to Bristol to get some rest before her big day of ESPN education, along with the many other blogs and traditional media outlets in attendance.

Here's her itinerary:

Thursday, Aug. 27
Time (ET) Topics
9:30 a.m. Digital Media
10:45 a.m. ESPN's 30th Anniversary
12:30 p.m. Lunch with ESPN President George Bodenheimer
2 p.m. Event Production (U.S. Open tennis, NASCAR, 2010 FIFA World Cup, etc.)
3:30 p.m. Campus Tour
4:45 p.m. ESPN International / Writing Time / One-on-One's
6 p.m. ESPN Films "30 for 30"

Friday, Aug. 28
8:30 a.m. Monday Night Football / NFL studio shows
10 a.m. State of Sports roundtable
11:15 p.m. College Football / ESPNU
12:15 p.m. SportsCenter / Journalism

And some of the ESPN on-air talent she'll be mingling with at lunch:

• Bob Ley
• Jeremy Schaap
• Hannah Storm

and...

• Chris Berman

Yep. This is how the story ends, kids. Access. Favor. Indiscretion.

******

Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Heady days.

Send an email to A.J. Daulerio, the author of this post, at ajd@deadspin.com.