Alcohol Is Not A Performance Enhancer (Especially In Chess)

Vladislav Tkachiev, a French grandmaster by way of Moscow and Kazakhstan, was disqualified from a tournament in India when he fell asleep at the table. To be fair, chess is very boring. And he was drunk.

Tkachiev, who is ranked 58th in the world, reportedly arrived under the influence and then completed only 15 moves in his third-round match against India's Praveen Kumar before he started dozing off. When other players tried to revive him he simply laid his head down on the table and went to sleep. He was forced to concede when he violated the time limits.

"Some even offered him water and Tkachiev, having briefly refreshed himself at the change-room while his opponent waited, dozed off again and eventually had to be carried off."

Now that's a sport! The 35-year-old Tkachiev is actually referred to as a "maverick" who prefers speedy "blitz chess" to the more traditional soozefest style of play and he once organized an online beauty contest to find "the world's sexiest female player." (It's Alexandra Kosteniuk, duh! Who wouldn't storm her castle?)

Hey, chess folks? When the most exciting thing to happen to your sport in decades is a guy falling asleep, you might want revisit your brand strategy.

Maverick chess master Vladislav Tkachiev falls asleep at the board [Times Online]
Fat, Drunk and Asleep is No Way to Get Through a Chess Tournament Son [Slanch Report]