Mario, Luigi Wanted For Assault, Battery

Super Mario Kart is the greatest sports game of all time; if you disagree, you are a Communist. That's why I bring you warning that the game is much uglier when translated into real life.

This took place on Halloween, but it's funnier if you pretend it didn't. Two men dressed as a beloved video game character and his much-less-beloved brother assaulted a cab driver on Staten Island not with the red shell, but with their fists.

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Investigators are on the lookout for the two and their suspected accomplice, a bipedal mushroom. If you're wondering how they've eluded capture this long, it's suspected they possess the Tanooki suit, and have been mistaken for statues by police.

Costumed duo rob SI cabby [NY Post]