Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
•Three TDs for Ricky Williams? I'd say this is the start of an epic inspirational story in Miami. You know, if the Dolphins weren't 5-5 and going nowhere.
•Keep talking, Mangino. It'll only make things better to say you're giving these kids the parenting their real parents failed at. Maybe, if that parenting includes emotional, verbal and physical abuse, plus eating the entire Thanksgiving dinner before the kids even get a bite.
•Obviously we'll need a few years for perspective, but the Hand of Gaul already places number three on this list of the top ten handballs of all time. Unsurprisingly, Braylon Edwards is nowhere to be found on the list. (Also, it's soccer. I know. Shut up.)
•In more serious soccer news, an English Sunday league player received a yellow card for farting in the referee's face. Had it been another player, he would have gone down like he'd been shot.
•Curtis Granderson is shopping what sounds like the most boring reality show of all time, in which he'd take viewers on tours of stadiums. The "let's explore Comerica Park's outfield" show is a 5-parter.
•Shaq is going to curate an art show. Is there anything the man can't do? Besides play basketball anymore...
•Finally, Georgia's beloved bulldog passed away suddenly at the age of four from heart disease. I'm filing that sentence away in case we need to use it for Baby Mangino.
Good morning, and TGIFF. Try not to work too hard.