![I Was There: "It Was The First Time I Actually Saw Women Making Out With Cars"](http://cache-02.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/11/2010/02/126x100_poodat1.jpg "I Was There: "It Was The First Time I Actually Saw Women Making Out With Cars"")
Nov 24, 2009 11:00 PM
6,348
Enter your username and password.
New York, 9:17 AM
Tue Feb 9
17 posts in the last 24 hours
Because nothing even remotely animal-related can happen without PETA getting involved, the animal rights organization is recommending that the recently deceased Uga VII be replaced with an animatronic bulldog. And this is how the robot war begins...
From an email sent to Georgia's athletic director:
In the wake of the untimely death of the University of Georgia's (UGA) bulldog mascot, Uga VII, PETA has asked the school's athletic director, Damon M. Evans, to replace the mascot with an animatronic dog—or to rely solely on a costumed mascot—instead of using another real bulldog. Bulldogs are prone to breathing difficulties, hip dysplasia, heart disorders, and other congenital ailments, and acquiring a dog from a breeder perpetuates the animal overpopulation crisis while causing another dog waiting in an animal shelter to be condemned to death.
"It is time for the university to put an end to the cycle of suffering endured by dogs who are brought into the world solely to represent the school's 'brand'," says PETA Assistant Director Kristie Phelps. "By choosing a humane alternative to the use of live animals as school mascots, UGA can show that compassion always wins."
So, let's summarize. Let's stop plucking bulldogs from anonymity to live a pampered life where they receive all the attention and care they could ever need, because they have a ton of defects. It's almost as if PETA would love to do away with bulldogs altogether, perhaps eliminating them in some sort of Doggie Dachau. In fact, it sounds like PETA doesn't love animals very much at all.
Let's leave aside the suggestion of sticking with a costumed student, which is more inhumane than any puppy mill, and concentrate on this robot dog idea. It is madness. If Georgia's teams were perhaps named the "robotic bulldogs," they'd have an argument. But Uga VIII should come from a long line of dogs who lived hard, and died heroes.
Would schools replace our players with robots because football isn't good for their health? Would Yale opt for a robotic coach who plays the percentages and punts on 4th-and-22? Bad example, but my point is that I've seen a lot of movies about robots, and they rarely end well for humanity.
PETA: Replace UGA VII With a Robot [WGAU]
Send an email to Barry Petchesky, the author of this post, at barryp@deadspin.com.
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.
Start a new discussion