Beware The Don Juan Of The Trailer Park

For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Readers can empathize. Heed their warnings.

My 20 yr reunion 10/3/2009 . . .

After dropping $75 on food I would not eat in college, watching the spreading the H1N1 virus thru 1000 handshakes and hugs, and watching the drinking to cover up the massive out-of-shape, balding, and fattening of my former class-mates - it was time to go to an after party . . .

Some half-pint from the local trailer park met me in the restroom prior to leaving.

[rewind]
{Half-pint was the "Don Juan" of the trailer park, and I was fortunate enough to have been invited to his wedding to the "Rosie O'Donnell" of the same trailer park. During the "shot-fest" reception a fight broke out - When I say fight, I am talking bartenders v. bride's parents, other guests vs each other - naturally I was blamed for it as I was the only sober one in the piece of shit hall they rented. After they un-piled the participants, I was asked to leave reception . . . gladly! }

[Back to reunion]
Half pint was, mf-ing me for ruining his wedding, and he was ready to fight. I think I will ask him for the Budweiser/Nascar mirror I got him for his wedding present and maybe he will be out of my life for sure. No question, he is the reason I will not be attending any more reunions. Needless to say, I quelled the situation and walked away the better man.

Thought you may enjoy . . . just happened.

Send an email to A.J. Daulerio, the author of this post, at ajd@deadspin.com.

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