Tiger Woods "Accident" Story Just Gets More Preposterous By The Hour

The AP chimes in with this update: "A local police chief in Florida says Tiger Woods' wife used a golf club to smash out the back window and helped get the golfer out of the car." TMZ? More logical.

So according to the fine, upstanding, Windermere police department, Tiger's wife, Elin, heard the crash outside their mansion and had the wherewithal to wisely grab a golf club before she ran out the door just in case she happened upon an emergency situation. (In Sweden, golf clubs are the Jaws of Life.) Luckily she did — because who knows what would have happened to Tiger had she not acted so quickly. Remember — he ran over a fire hydrant. Although plenty of wacky slapstick family movies use this as a cheap visual gag when they run out of other ways to emphasize a character's bad luck, this is a dire situation in real life. He could have sat there all night, with serious-not-serious facial lacerations and possibly drowned. That's why she smashed the back window of the SUV — the gallons of water violently gushing into the vehicle could have killed him instantly had she gone through the front windshield or tried to, you know, get Tiger to unlock the driver's side door. She needed to climb through the back, grab her 200lb. husband by the collar and drag him to safety. Time was of the essence.

And it's just entirely coincidental that the Woods house is so fraught with melodrama on Thanksgiving night the day after reports of an affair surface.