And Now TMZ Turns Tiger Woods Into Lionel Richie With One Fateful Post

Here we go: "Tiger Woods did not suffer facial lacerations from a car accident. They were inflicted by his wife, Elin Nordegren — according to a conversation Woods had Friday after the accident." And when he tried to get away...

...Elin went all Angry Jack Nicholson on Tiger's SUV. Distracted by his scorned wife chasing him with a golf club, he plowed into a fire hydrant. The golf world and his sponsors await a more sanitized version of this from Woods' people so they can move past this as quickly as possible in order to maintain the illusion that Eldrick's only flaws are his super-competitive nature and his foul-mouthed temper on the golf course. Especially Gillette. It's tough to have a million-dollar razor pitchman with a mangled face.

And the alleged other woman, Rachel Uchitel, is trying to lay low by speaking with every single media outlet that has contacted her via Facebook so far. She vehemently denies she ever had sex with, texted, sexted, or spoke with Tiger Woods and would appreciate if people would just stop making the numerous trashy photos of her that are already available online a hot Google trend.

More on this tomorrow, most likely.