Single UT Fan ISO Total Whore

You'll find a ton of people begging for tickets to the National Championship Game. But one lonely longhorn has two seats, and just needs a piece of ass to fill them.

Reader Camilia sends along this delightful little Craigslist posting. I'm going to preserve it here in its entirety, for all eternity.

This ticket is for a classy hottie that will accompany me to the game.

Fun fact: no woman who is either classy or hot has ever described herself as a "classy hottie."

I have a Suite for the 6th and 7th at the Langham, Huntington Hotel and Spa in Pasadena.

"Suite" denotes a second bed, or at least a sofa bed. Keep this in mind for a second.

All expenses are paid for: flight, food, alcohol, hotel, and ticket.

Also, alcohol, chocolates, alcohol, whipped cream, alcohol, roofies and alcohol.

The suite is a california king size bed so you must be fine with sharing a bed with me while you are staying in Pasadena.

Remember what I wrote about the other bed?

I'm looking for anyone that is a true orange blood, and knows how to party and have a good time.

You might have orange blood, but you might want to get a blood test afterward.

Must send pictures and must be a girl. No Guys.

"I'm still sore from the Big 12 title game."

I had reserved this for my girlfriend and I but she recently broke up with me and I would like to take another girl.

Now that you're flying women across the country in exchange for "companionship," I'm sure your girlfriend regrets she let you get away.

Please only email me if you're serious and bikini shots are preferred (or something sexier).

·····

So, is it real? Probably not. But this holiday season, is it too much to hope that someone so pathetic is equally indiscreet?


BCS National Championship Ticket FREE To Girl That Will Accompany Me
[Craigslist]