Last Night's Winner: Junior GottiS

In sportslife, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like (alleged!!) mobster John Gotti III, who is so good at not getting convicted that federal prosecutors have given up trying. He's on fire!

Gotti—whose dad was known as the "Teflon Don" for his miraculous ability to evade the feds—has had four racketeering trials in the last five years, all of which mysteriously ended with deadlocked juries. It's a pretty remarkable winning streak, actually. One of the cases started when he reportedly ordered the kidnapping and beating of the head of the Guardian Angels (which is just silly) while he was still in prison for a previous crime. During his most recent trial, a U.S. Marshall saw him mouth the words "I'll kill you" to a witness on the stand and he still got off. What escapability! He's like the Barry Sanders of Manhattan Circuit Court.

The U.S. Attorney could have tried to end the streak with yet another rematch, but yesterday, they announced that after millions of dollars and half a decade of their lives wasted, they were giving up the case. Gotti, who claims he's retired from the Gambino crime family, will have to come up with a whole new rap to beat if he wants to go another round. His greatest crime, however, remains being related to these guys.

Honorable mention: The Clemson student who sideswiped North Carolina's team bus, leaving the Tar Heels so rattled that they later lost to the Tigers by 19. That's a bit of intimidation that any mobster would be proud of.