Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
* From a dumbfounded emailer: "I was watching my Miami Heat Beat up on the Rockets...but if you look behind the bench..there seems to be a tranny in the crowd....his/her asian friend also looks also looks suspicious..."
Okay. Great start to the morning! Dwyane Wade scored 37 during the aforementioned "Heat Beat up," by the way.
* Speaking of transsexuals, one reader had an interesting takeaway from Rick Reilly®'s great column about his friend Mike Penner. He quotes from the story: "My wife, Cynthia, became her gender tour guide, answering questions for hours, since Christine had no experience being a woman. Where to buy shoes online, what the new hormone pills would do to her, the trick of lingerie."
How would she know what the new hormone pills would do to her if she wasn't taking them at some point?
Then he goes on to pretty much blame the wife of the transsexual for his death since she filed for divorce. The only person who wouldn't divorce their spouse if they switched genders is a person who was married to someone who switched their gender.
For the record, Rick Reilly's wife was never a man. As far as I know.
* Despite losing to Colonel Poise and the New York Jets in the first round of the playoffs, Marvin Lewis' coaching job during the regular season was good enough to earn him COTY honors.
* Last night's Bucks/Warriors game saw the rare appearance of "Rule 3" due to the depleted, foul-troubled Warriors.
Alright. Good morning. It's Saturday. Grab your coffee and your bacon products and make yourself presentable. I am A.J. Daulerio, your Idiot Barking Dog for the day.