In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like our nation's orthopedic specialists, who now hold the entire world in their hands like a big blue swollen ankle.
By the way, sports are canceled this month, because no one can walk to the games anymore. In medical terminology, there are exactly three degrees of "sprain" that can affect the ligaments of the foot and ankle and they are all driving us mad. Dwight Freeney. Paul Pierce. Kalin Lucas. (Gaahh!) FAVRE. I'm pretty sure I heard Barack Obama say last week that the state of our Union is a second-degree separation of the calacaneofibular ligament. (It's in the transcript. Look it up.) This is a crisis, people.