Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
•Mike Dunleavy steps down as Clippers coach, but remains GM. Because, apparently, they've got all the talent in the world, but just need new playcalling.
•The Devils win the Ilya Kovalchuk sweepstakes, for a nice little package of young talent. That makes it official: the only remaining reason to be a Thrashers fan is to watch the Caps come in three times a year.
•LaDainian Tomlinson says he's played his last game in a Chargers uniform. But how can this be? He's got two years left on his contract, and in the NFL, contracts are ironclad!
•What are the odds of an American cow ending up as a football in the Super Bowl? You'll be less amazed at the answer than at the fact that someone took the time to figure it out.
•Here's a list of the worst Super Bowl halftimes of all time, culminating in a live action Indiana Jones spectacular featuring Tony Bennett and the Miami Sound Machine. This only happened 15 years ago, and I'm still not convinced the whole thing wasn't some opium hallucination.
(Screengrab via here)
Friday. A snowstorm and the Super Bowl beckon. Let's take it home.