Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day
* This delightful young Crimson Tide fan will have perfectly straight teeth by time he graduates, but those rubber bands didn't bring his team any luck Thursday night against Florida. He'll need to double-up on the rubber bands today if they have a shot at knocking off Ole Miss.
* Hey, you know the WWE wrestler Frankie Kazarian? Guess what — he loves to take cellphone photos of himself, too. NSFW or those people who don't like the bare-ass/cupped genitalia of beefy men with tans. [TabloidProdigy]
* So you think having braces in college would be tough on your social life? Check out this lede for the biography about a young high school student in Washginton: "Even in 2010, growing up gay isn't easy. Add in the complicating factors of being a mentally challenged, biracial guy who wants to wave around pom-poms in a small town, and you have a recipe for the most hellacious high school experience in Eastern Washington."[SeattleWeekly]
Alright. Good early afternoon. It's Saturday. Most of you are snowed-in, but let's walk the streets at night.