The Tiger Woods Guide To Post-Scandal Press Conferences

No one knows what Tiger Woods will say or do tomorrow, but no matter what happens it will go down in the annals of classic public apologies. Here's a look at some of the legends of the genre.

A quick study of the historic record also provides several different strategies for approaching this important Hail Mary of public relations. Which option will Tiger choose?

President Bill Clinton
Strategy: Defiant lies


Basketball Guy Kobe Bryant
Strategy: Hold on to your wife. Hard.

New York Governor Eliot Spitzer
Strategy: Martyr yourself

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford
Strategy: Just completely wing it for 18 minutes

Televangelist Jimmy Swaggart
Strategy: Cry, beg to your god

Idaho Senator Larry Craig
Strategy: Definitely Not Gay

New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey
Strategy: Gay, but still married to an awesome gal

Louisiana Senator David Vitter
Strategy: Confuse audience with references to obscure, unrelated legislation, then hide behind your wife.

Baseball Dude Alex Rodriguez
Strategy: Just stop talking for 20 seconds or so

Pennsylvania Treasurer Bud Dwyer
Strategy: Uh ... no. (WARNING: not safe for anyone who doesn't want to watch a guy shoot himself in the head.)