Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
•Evan Lysacek won America's first men's figure skating gold since...the last time the Olympics were held in Canada. Evgeni Plushenko nailed his quad, but was uncharacteristically shaky. He can now re-retire to a life of Bond villainy.
•LeBron had a cartoonish 43-13-15, but it was Carmelo Anthony who carried the night with 40 of his own in a 118-116 win. Melo nailed a deep jumper with James in his face with 2 seconds left in overtime for the win. LeBron looked pretty broken up about it afterward, although it might've just been him hearing the news the Knicks can afford him.
•How bad was Canada needing a shootout to put away Switzerland? One of the dudes that scored on them doesn't even have a photo on the Olympic site. But Sidney Crosby's goal on his second go-round of the shootout saved a national day of mourning in Canada today.
•I was going to report on the US beating Norway, but I'm a Rangers fan and I see written here that Chris Drury had the GWG. So I know this game report can't be right.
•PGA Commish Tim Finchem confirms that Tiger Woods will return to rehab after his statement this morning. Actually, come to think of it, Tim Finchem became the first to to confirm that Tiger Woods had been in rehab in the first place.
Have I mentioned how obsessed I am with the Soul Train YouTube channel? It'll make your weekend come all the sooner.