The Real Whores In All This? AP, Reuters, And BloombergS

Three journalists — from the Associated Press, Reuters, and Bloomberg — accepted invitations to participate in the Tiger Woods apology kabuki. They should immediately be banished to whatever professional doghouse contains Judy Miller and the remains of Bob Novak.

For the record, those reporters are Doug Ferguson (AP), Tim Gaynor (Reuters), and Michael Buteau (Bloomberg), and they had the privilege of watching a famous golfer bullshit in person while all of us poor saps had to watch a famous golfer bullshit on a glowing screen. Here are their accounts thus far.

Ferguson:

PONTE VEDRA BEACH, Fla. (AP) — Tiger Woods has apologized for having affairs and says he is unsure when he will return to competitive golf.

"I was unfaithful. I had affairs. I cheated. What I did was not acceptable," said Woods, looking composed and speaking in a steady voice. His wife, Elin, was not obviously present.

As for coming back to the PGA Tour, Woods said: "I do plan to return to golf one day. I just don't know when that day will be. I don't rule out it will be this year."

Woods talked for more than 13 minutes Friday from the clubhouse at the TPC Sawgrass, home of the PGA Tour. About 40 people were in the room, including his mother. He hugged her when he finished speaking.

"I am deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish behavior," Woods said.

Admitting he felt he "deserved to enjoy the temptations" that came with his fabulous success, Woods said he is solely responsible for his actions.

Woods said he was in treatment for 45 days and will return for more therapy, adding he has more work to do to resolve his personal problems.

The world's No. 1 golfer had not talked in public since his traffic accident Nov. 27 triggered shocking revelations about Woods' serial infidelity.

Friday's event was tightly controlled, with only a few journalists allowed to watch Woods live.

Woods' televised confession became a major television event with the networks breaking in to show it live.

Gaynor:

PONTE VEDRA BEACH, Florida (Reuters) - Superstar golfer Tiger Woods publicly apologized on Friday for his infidelity to his wife, Elin, saying he was "deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish behavior."

"I was unfaithful, I had affairs, I cheated. What I did was not acceptable and I am the only person to blame," Woods said at his first public appearance since admitting he cheated on his wife and announcing in December he was taking an indefinite break from golf.

"I brought this shame on myself."

He defended his wife and denied media speculation that there had been physical violence between the couple. The speculation arose after a bizarre minor car accident in November outside woods' Florida home in the middle of the night.

"Elin never hit me that night, or any other night. There has never been an episode of domestic violence (in our family)..." Woods said, speaking to reporters at the headquarters of the U.S. PGA Tour in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida.

Michael Buteau (with Mason Levinson):

Feb. 19 (Bloomberg) — Tiger Woods spoke publicly for the first time since admitting to marital infidelity more than two months ago, apologizing for "my repeated irresponsible behavior" and saying he's not sure when he'll return to golf.

The 14-time major-tournament winner spoke at the TPC Sawgrass clubhouse in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida, the home of the U.S. PGA Tour. He didn't take questions from media members who were among those present.

There was no sign of Woods's wife, Elin. Woods's mother, Kultida; PGA Commissioner Tim Finchem and Executive Vice President Ty Votaw; and Tiger Woods Foundation President Greg McLaughlin were among about 30 people in the room.

"Every one of you has good reason to be critical of me," Woods, wearing a blue blazer and an open-collared blue shirt, told the group. "I have let you down. I have let down my fans."

The Associated Press reported that Woods would return to therapy, citing a letter from Finchem to the golf tour's advisory board. Woods didn't rule out playing this year, he said at the conference.

Media reports, including TMZ.com, have said that Woods was enrolled in sex-addiction treatment at a clinic in Hattiesburg, Mississippi.

Woods's announcement came amid tight security. Everyone in the clubhouse room had to turn off cell phones 15 minutes before Woods was scheduled to speak.

This wasn't a press conference. This was an advertisement. (Same goes for that staged Getty shoot.) The moment AP, Reuters, and Bloomberg acceded to Tiger's conditions was the moment they became willing extras in just another Tiger Woods television commercial. (Sheesh. Even the golf writers — people who've been in the bag for Tiger for so long they they might as well have been sponsored by Gillette — wanted no piece of that.) And what did these three reporters get in return for their integrity? What vital piece of the story did they provide that they might not have, had they watched Tiger Woods on a glowing box? This: The people in the room had to switch off their cells. You know, lest the ringing disturb the folks watching at home.

Photo via TMZ