Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
•Not one, but TWO nutshots led to ejections tonight: Seton Hall's Herb Pope, and Jackson State's Phillip Williams. Not a laughing matter for the guys on the wrong end of them, but when did the NIT turn into America's Funniest Home Videos?
•Arkansas-Pine Bluff has officially won an NCAA Tournament game. Every time someone says they should expand the tournament, just repeat that sentence.
•Lance Mackey wins his record 4th consecutive Iditarod. For finishing in slightly under nine days, he receives $50,000 and a new Dodge truck. Which should help him finish even faster next year.
•Phoenix put up an NBA season-high 152 points against the T-Wolves, as every sports writer dusts off the word "rout." But really, what else can you call it? Certainly not an NBA game, when Darko Milicic led all Wolves starters with a -12 +/-.
•Chuck Knoblauch pleaded guilty to misdemeanor assault on his wife. His defense: he was aiming for Marie Olbermann.
Happy St. Patrick's Day. To celebrate we're dyeing Craggs's beard green. Stick around.