John Calipari goes for his first Final Four trip, Huggybear and the Mountaineers try to stick it to John Beilein one more time for good measure. Predictions on DeMarcus Cousins' weight in seven years below.

That'll do 'er for lazybones blogging day. Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Barry's here for you tomorrow. It's enough to turn your studies down.