Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
•Butler and West Virginia's wins guarantee that our Final Four teams will come from four different conferences. And nothing against any particular team, but I really think the Big 12 deserves to be one of the four, don't you?
•Joey Porter was arrested on suspicion of DUI, as well as resisting arrest, after slapping the hand of a police officer trying to get him to leave his car. Thus once again proving the old maxim that nothing good happens in a Taco Bell parking lot after 1 a.m.
•Ernie Grunfeld says the Wizards won't void Gilbert Arenas's contract, even though he's pleaded guilty and been sentenced to a halfway house. In essence, they're making his transition back to the NBA all the smoother, since the Wizards are kind of like the league's halfway house.
•Break up the Coyotes! Phoenix clinches its first playoff birth in eight years. Break them up and move them to Hamilton! That's an old saying, right?
•What's a pair of wide receivers to do when they're bored, and the only other option is voluntary workouts? If you're Andre Johnson and Santana Moss, you hop on the city bus for some good old fashioned mass transit fun. Besides, all the voluntary workouts in the world won't help Jason Campbell get the ball to you any better.
It's a lazy Sunday. Aren't they all? Thanks for being a part.