And Nike Officially Ruins April Fool's Day

CBSSports.com and ESPN.com are both running some amazing stories today. Every single one manages to discuss how the fantastic athletic feats were pulled off thanks to Nike Air shoes. We've come a long way from Sidd Finch's single hiking boot.

On ESPN's Page 2, you can read about NYC street balls raising the rim to 12'7", or a South Carolina runner receiving a traffic ticket for going too fast. In both cases, it's their new Nike Air sneakers that allow them to go above and beyond.

Over on CBS's home page, there are links to stories about a prep RB running a 3.91 40-yard dash, and a high school baseball player leading the country in home runs — all inside the parkers. What do they have in common? Nike Air, of course.

Even Bleacher Report has gotten in on it. They've got a lineman pulling a truck across the field on pro day, and a 16-year-old with a 50-inch vertical. Take a guess what kind of sneakers they were wearing.

The stories are too unbelievable to fool anyone for long, and there's a link to the explanation at the bottom. That's not the point. The point is that for sports fans, April Fool's Day is officially sponsored by Nike.

I've got nothing against April Fool's jokes, nor unconventional advertising. Lord knows this site's been guilty of both. But to combine the two is enough to make even Howard Beale a little more cynical.

And, fuck, I've mentioned Nike Air sneakers four times now. Good job, Nike.