Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
Yes, that's right: Kobe looked so ridiculous in that allegedly "high fashion" photo shoot that he is now being mocked by the sort of people who wear this stuff.
• Phil Mickelson shoots a 66 at the Players and then declares: "I'm going to do the same thing I did the last five days — go to Five Guys burgers. Sixth day in a row. I can't stop going there."
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Good morning, and happy Mother's Day.