Why Won't You Die, Montreal?S

For the second time in two rounds, the eighth-seeded Canadiens have won a Game 7, on the road, knocking off both the President's Trophy winner and the defending champs. Obviously, we'll have to kill them in our dreams.

This was not the way the Penguins hoped to close out Mellon Arena, but the final game at The Igloo was a pretty depressing way for the old dump to go out. They didn't even open the roof to allow the team to enter via hot air balloon! Instead of sending fans home with memories of another Stanley Cup Final, it will be remembered for the LeBron-esque no-show of Sidney Crosby and friends. Sid's best human on skates cred would be taking a serious beating right now if he didn't already have his name on the Cup and that whole "Greatest Moment in the History of Canada" thing in his hip pocket. He's earned this and many other summers off.

The craziest part is that because of all the upsets, the best possible outcome for the Eastern Conference Champion is a six-seed. (Even that's a long shot, given Boston's performance at the moment.) And after the Sharks and Blackhawks beat each other up for seven games one of those three lousy teams will probably win the whole thing. Will Jaroslav Halak add his name to long list of improbable Canadiens goaltending heroes? Can the city of Montreal survive another couple rounds of hockey riots? Will this weirdo with the monkey puppet become the next Jeff Dunham?

Only if we're lucky on that last one....

Disbelieve it: Canadiens eliminate Pens, 5-2 [USA Today]