The T-Shirt For People Who Like Soccer, But Hate YellingS

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

* I don't know ... I just ... it's soccer, what are you going to do? [Yuhmm]

* A Pennsylvania man bowled 47 strikes in a row—a national record, including a perfect 900-series—then just stopped because his league games were over. What a quitter. [Patriot News]

* Some baseball games happened. A couple were even close. [MLB]

* Seriously, what a terrible night for sports. No playoffs. Half a slate of MLB. World's most boring draft. Some college baseball and softball, but with all those double eliminations and what not, it's almost impossible to keep track. When Tony Romo not playing golf counts as news, you know you've had a lousy day.

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Try to make the next one better, I guess.