In sports, everyone's a winner, some just win better than others. Like the filthy American tourist in Cape Town who spent the night totally banging Coleen Rooney. Well struck, sir!

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No, it hasn't reached that level yet, but both the Daily News and the New York Post have joined in the poo-flinging across the pond. And because we're such underdogs and will (most likely) not win this match, our tabloids have resorted to crowing about victories from more than 200 years ago to save face. First the DN presents their cover:

Then the Post's:

So don your wig and stuff your musket, football fans, because today will be something memorable.