Our old friend Chris Cooley is back. No, he's not showing us his penis this time. But after seeing this video, we almost wish he had.

Some players spend all offseason watching their diets, to stay in top shape. Chris Cooley drinks the contents of his pantry: yellow mustard, ranch dressing, caramel syrup, beef and barley soup, peanut butter, cooking spray, honey and hot sauce. (He says he used to do this when he was little, which may explain a lot.)

My favorite part is how his wife is filming and egging him on, instead of protecting him from himself, which is generally the main purpose of marriage.

Condiment Row [The Cooley Zone]