Even athletes have to pay for shoving and spitting on women in da club, whether there's a bottle full of bub involved or not. Those offenses earned Larry Johnson 40 hours of community service at the Kansas City Police Athletic League where it was judicially presumed the Chief-turned-Redskin would help address the national youth-obesity epidemic. L.J. just said no to athletics, though, and that was among the reasons why he was up in da courtroom of Municipal Court Judge Joseph Locascio on Friday.
"Children who go to PAL don't go there for art class," Locascio said at the probation revocation hearing Friday (according to the Kansas City Star). "The idea that you would draw pictures with kids who want to participate in athletics is absurd. If I knew you didn't want to do sports with kids, I would have assigned you to pick up trash on the highway. That's what we typically have defendants do."
End result: L.J., who not once made eye-contact with the judge, didn't get sent to jail. He left court smiling, with his amended mission to service any non-profit organization in the D.C. community. Projected future headline: Bail to the Redskins.