Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
•Max Scherzer took a no-hitter into the sixth, but that doesn't really mean jack when the other guy takes his no-no all nine innings. Matt Garza pitched the fifth no-hitter in the majors this year, and the first in franchise history (which has to be galling for San Diego and the Mets). (Thanks to Jeff for the screengrab.)
•Supposedly the Jets are considering bringing in Terrell Owens. Because having two mercurial, underachieving wide receivers on the roster is just asking for trouble, but three? Well now that's a party.
•Hey, how'd that Dan Haren debut go for you, Anaheim? You say he was hit in the arm on a comebacker and had to leave the game, and you lost, falling 7.5 games back in the West? Well, better than starting Saunders, I guess.
•The Cavs move Delonte West, perhaps three months too late. They shipped him to the T-Wolves for Ramon Sessions, all but guaranteeing LeBron James will not play for Minnesota. Unless he switches to point guard.
•We won the World Cup! ...of softball. Meh, we'll take what we can get, and send Jennie Finch out a winner as she begins her lucrative post-softball career of, well, doing other stuff.
Good morning, and good luck.