X-Games Flasher, Large Photo Make For R-Rated Where's Waldo

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

Forty-year-old Mike Modano will sign a one year deal with the Red Wings. That sounds old, until you remember that Zetterberg's and Franzen's contracts expect us to believe they'll play until their mid-60s.

•A Rays win and Yankees loss means Tampa Bay moves into a tie for first place in the AL East. Meanwhile, Baltimore is 34 games back with 57 games to play. Parity!(?)

•Indians uberprospect Carlos Santana suffered a scary-looking knee injury in a home plate collision, and will have an MRI today. It'd be a shame if he suffered a serious injury, just three years before being traded to a contending team.

•First day of practice in pads, and already the Cardinals are fighting each other. Good thing there's a man of god to show them all their earthly quarrels are ultimately meaningless in the face of...oh wait, it's Leinart now.

The Big Ten expects to have a title game as early as next year, when Nebraska makes 12. This has literally no effect on the length of Michigan's season.

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Good morning. Coffee and donuts in the lounge.