Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
• Serena Williams is fucking out, a lineswoman's feeling of personal security is fucking in. [US Open]
• Roger Clemens' reaction to getting indicted? Make pre-obligated call to a Boston radio station on charity's behalf. Hem. Haw. [SportsRadioInterviews.com]
• Former Alabama guard Mikhai Torrance, undrafted but signed with a pro team in Israel, collapses at the IMG Basketball Academy in Florida. "He is still alive and he is in our intensive care center at the hospital," a Sarasota Memorial Hospital spokesperson said. Torrance has a heart condition. So did Hank Gathers. [Bradenton.com]