"World's Largest Bobblehead" Is A Hideous AbominationS

Alternate title: how a 14-year-old boy spent the worst summer vacation ever.

As profiled in the Daily News, this papier-maché-and-chicken-wire monstrosity is believed by its creator to be the tallest bobblehead in the world, because it's bigger than the one in the Guinness Book of World Records. There are so many wonderful things in this story, I'm resorting to bullet points.

•The previous record holder? A larger-than-life Chuck Woolery bobblehead.

•The birth of greatness: "Last summer, I hadn't done anything except hang out and watch TV and I thought I should probably do something."

•It began life looking like Jerry Seinfeld. Now it's...that.

•It stands in front of the family's Brooklyn, home, with a sign that reads, "Don't take this. It's not trash."

•"Everyone stops and talks about it. All the kids in the neighborhood like to play in the head."

Brooklyn teen creates world's largest bobblehead, 16 ft. tall, hoping for Guinness World Record [NY Daily News]

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Tomorrow's our birthday! We're 5! Raise a glass at midnight, and pour out a 40 in the gutter for Supermike, Pot Roast and Gravy and the rest.