Every week, Alan Siegel and Deadspin's crack video team will break down Rex Ryan's frequent use of profanity on HBO's Hard Knocks. Episode 5: The season ends with a "fucking" flurry.
Five episodes and 178 curses later, the season of Hard Knocks is over. What did we learn? Mainly that Rex likes to say fuck a lot. He clings to the word like a profane binky. Even his terms of endearment involve "fuck." In the finale, Rex refers to Danny Woodhead, a former Division 2 running back who looks like he was plucked from Tom Cruise's team in All The Right Moves, as "that little fucker." Coming from Rex, it's the ultimate compliment. (Sadly, that little fucker got cut this week.)
In spite of recent accusations of impropriety, the coach comes off as an endearing fellow throughout the five episodes of Hard Knocks. It's difficult to dislike a guy who prints out negative articles about his team and calls them "poop material" and who ends a particularly tense meeting by telling his players to join him for a "goddamn snack." Is Rex truly a good person? I don't know. I'm sure the neighbor in Baltimore whose face he once rearranged doesn't think so. But come on: the content of Rex's soul is less important to a successful reality show than the fact that—as KSK pointed out long before us—Rex is a great character. Holy shit is he a great character.
So, below is our final tally. If our count is off, please let us know. Actually, fuck you all.
Cumulatively, Sexy Rexy's cuss brigade breaks down like so:
Alan Siegel is a freelance writer in Washington, D.C. Contact him at asiegel05 [at] gmail [dot] com.