And now, a feel-good post to close the day.
When Troy Patton of the Orioles pitched his first MLB game in three years at Fenway on Wednesday, he did so in front of a half-sister he'd never met before. Yep, another one of those feel-good Facebook stories conveniently surfacing just before a movie goes all Ugueth Urbina on site founder Mark Zuckerberg. (You get $100 million! You get your half-sister back in your life!) Still.
According to Patton, his dad had hired a private investigator in the past to find the girl, but the attempts to reunite were unsuccessful.
"I knew about her when I was younger. My dad has always talked about her. 'Oh, it's my daughter's birthday today,' " said Patton, 25. "It really hurt him every year because he tried to find her earlier. Technology wasn't what it is now."
Fast forward to this year.
Dave Patton, who lives in Houston and is remarried with four boys, including Troy, set up a Facebook account and searched for "Heather Patton." There was a match for a flight attendant in Boston who had joined Facebook in March. It was her.
Of course there's a Sox twist.
"It was great meeting Troy, and I was so impressed with him and how thoughtful and kind he was," Heather Patton said. "But when he struck out Big Papi, that was cool. I felt a little conflicted because I have been to Red Sox games before, but you've got to root for your brother, right?"
That's right, Heather. The Red Sox aren't blood, and the red on Schilling's sock came in 57 varieties.
Facebook allows Patton to meet half-sister for first time [Baltimore Sun]
Oriole Troy Patton and his incredible Facebook story [Baltimore Sun]
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Now go on and do what you do best on a Saturday night. We shall reconvene in the morning.