Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
•The Jets move to 4-1 despite Brett Favre coming alive in the 2nd half, but because of his late pick-six. I'm sure the other 21 guys on the field had something to do with the outcome, but unless I've seen their penis, I really don't care. Oh, Santonio Holmes and Visanthe Shiancoe were there too.
•Speaking of the Giants, watch for a cameo from a shirtless clubhouse manager during the postgame coverage. Oh dear.
•So the Patriots essentially turned a fourth round pick into a third, and Randy Moss into Deion Branch. I guess they're trying to recapture the magic of past playoff teams. In that case, I don't think Tony Collins is doing anything these days.
•Cincinnati's police chief apologized to Pacman Jones for detaining and handcuffing him Sunday, when he jumped a curb to avoid hitting another vehicle. Good thing too. Ohio has a very strict "seven strikes" policy.
•Aaron Rodgers may miss some time as he recovers from his concussion. Boy, I wish Green Bay wishes they still had Brett Favre; he never misses a game.
(Thanks to commenter RebirthOfHernandezStache for the screengrab)
OK! Rested? Refreshed? Let's get moving.