The Bruins have issued a video response to our column-destroying superhero ladyfriend. It is a short ad with a giant bear and creepy scraping noises, and it is terrifying. Watch inside.

We really appreciate the underlying menace to this ad. That bear is going to do awful, awful things if he ever finds our intrepid column-kicker, to whom we offer this advice: Just play dead. You'll get batted around a little bit, but the bear might lose interest.

Stay safe, column-kicker.

You can view more of the bear's intimidating and violent confrontations here.

H/T Steven