Rejoice! Alcoholic Whipped Cream Is Here To Replace Four Loko

Four Loko will be gone from our (American) store shelves by Dec. 13. If you aren't going to make your own, and you insist on consuming grain alcohol in a gimmicky fashion, there is another option: hooch-heavy whipped cream.

Well, for now at least. Schoolmarms, teetotalers, and the ridiculous-averse in Massachusetts are already cluck-clucking at Canisters of Cream—"a 30-proof whipped cream that comes in a variety of flavors, including chocolate, raspberry, orange and cherry" that is selling like you would expect 30-proof whipped cream to sell, which is to say, very well—and are "closely monitoring" the sale and marketing of the product in the state. The best part? There is a rival brand of the stuff called Whipped Lightning. Praise be the free market, without which we might be stuck with only one incredibly disgusting variation of an idea.

Meanwhile, unconfirmed reports have teenagers in Cambridge celebrating in the streets that they can finally do whip-its and get twisted at the same time.

In unrelated news, I'm off to Costco to pick up a handle of Evan Williams and a tub of Cool Whip for the upcoming office Christmas party.

Whipped into a frenzy
[Boston Herald]