Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
•Ben Roethlisberger overcame a broken nose to...make Joe Flacco fire the ball into the dirt, I guess. The Steelers are in the driver's seat in the division, though, despite what Cris Collinsworth repeatedly insisted, it did not "save their season." Although, as you know, the AFC North champion does win the return of industry to their city. (Thanks to Tom for the screengrab.)
•Tiger Woods found a novel way to go 0-for-2010: choking away a four-stroke lead on the final day. Perhaps in 2011 we'll get used to this, and it won't be news every time Woods loses. That'd mean the end of golf news altogether.
•MINIHOTFUCKINGSTOVE! The Adrian Gonzalez trade finally went through, despite Gonzo and the Red Sox being unable to come to an agreement on a contract extension. Then the Nationals went and screwed up everything — and made a lot of free agents very happy — by signing Jayson Werth to 18 years and $40 billion.
•Gingerbread Fenway Park? Gingerbread Fenway Park.
•In the wake of England losing out on the World Cup, London withdraws its offer of free hotel stays to FIFA execs for the 2012 Olympics. They're just going to have to stay in hostels in Earls Court like the rest of the foreigners.
Good morning. Let's get right to it.